I am asking myself this question because in my life over the last few months I am realizing more and more that I do not take enough time for my family and personal life. I have had many discussions with lots of people in the last few months about this issue. Ultimately though I think
BST got me going this morning.
I have spoken with my wife about these issues:
"Do I spend enough time focusing on my family? How can I be better involved in the daily household activities? Do I spend enough time with my daughter? Have I allowed myself to be consumed by what is going on around me?" These are just a few of her questions.
Speaking with my Dad who grew up in a very conservative wing of the church of Christ:
"Do you feel appreciated for what you are doing? Are you feeling overstressed?"
Speaking with a brother and fellow ministry friend:
"Are you giving up too much for the people who really don't think about your home life and family? Have you been sacrificing yourself on the altar of forsaking the family? Are you sacrificing your marriage for ministry?"
Obviously, I have really struggled with this stuff and have talked at length with many people about it.
But I think the one question that got me thinking the most was this one: "Are you serving the church because it's a job you're addicted to, or because it's your God that your addicted to?"
That could be the most pointed question about this whole thing. Why do you do it? Is it a job or is it your personal offering to God? And to that end I ask myself this...If I say no to someone, am I being selfish or unloving to them and does that reflect on my love for God? This to me is a huge struggle, I think mostly because I know I love God, and I know that part of showing Him love is serving others, but not just that but loving people. I love people as well. (I feel like Goldmember here, "I lowve Gooooolllllldddd.") Seriously, I really want to serve others and love others.
The still remaining question is, when to say when? When is it OK to say no, I know so many people who deal with this very issue. It isn't just in ministry, it is everywhere. Is this a bigger issue that has more to do with not compartmentalizing Christ? I am not sure, I would like to believe living a life like Christ's is a goal for me each day, and I live to sacrifice my entire life to him. This reminds me of the skit that Randy Gill did at Zoe, "The One More Thing Ministry" where what we all need is just "one more thing" These questions remain as I don't have all the answers. I pray in time I will.
Niki said...
Chris, thanks for visiting my blog. I just wanted to say that as you suspected, you are not alone with your questions. From reading your blog, it sounds like you're going down the same path we and so many of our youth minister friends have been down too. It's only been in recent years that I stepped out of legalism into the waiting arms of GRACE! Change is never easy and is ALWAYS met with resistance by somebody. If not by us, then by someone who thinks we're diving off the deep end into apostacy and liberalism. Isn't that an oxymoron? A liberal c of C? :) I don't know you, but I'd say questions are a good thing. They make us evaluate our continuous service to God and others. Evaluation is a great precursor to growth. When you know your boundaries, saying no becomes a lot easier. What are your boundaries as far as family time? Office time? Prep time? Personal reflection and growth time? Who/What fills you up? Good grief, leave it to me to give you more questions to answer! I hope God fills you to overflowing with His peace and reassurance! Thank you for praying for my family. I'll be back to read more...
Niki said...
P.S. I know Mark Rodriguez - and hope he's doing well. Ed Harrell, Jeff Slater and I read each others blogs and pray for each other...it's a small world, but God's family isn't. Do you know Dub & Wendy Hall?
JD said...
Good thoughts, Chris. I was ashamed of myself last Friday when I had a day off and had no idea what to do with myself. Adicted to the church? No. Addicted to hoping I do enough that they think I'm a great preacher? Now we're getting somewhere. Finding affirmation in my "spiritual accomplishments" rather than as a father and husband? I'm embarassed now. These are the values that America has taught us. I love America ... but we must not embrace her culture as Kingdom living.
k2 said...
dude, i started thinking about a class that i actually got to sit and participate in. what a thrill!
anyway, the class was talking about the sower. i am thinking of the sower and CL the minister here.
the sower's affective range was not very far away. yes we are to work on going to all the world, but you have to take care of who is in reach first.
if the sower threw as hard as he could, seed would get to some of the places you want it to get to, and some of the ground would not get any. but if the sower went in a pattern, and worked with what was right in front of him he would get to the part of the field he was trying to reach with that part of the field eh was going for with that "hail mary" pass.
CL you have a great talent, and if you are going to sow the seed, don't try to tend and sow at the same time. go for the field that is overseeded and the weeds will not have a chance.
take care of what is at your feet and in your affective range right now.
i look forward to seeing you next week, my brotha. get well soon.
