My family and I are doing really well since the storm. We decided to weather it out (won't do that again) and try to be here for the immediate clean-up and inventory that one would come to expect living in L.A. Things are OK.
I really should be ecstatic right now, but I'm not. Tomorrow my in-laws load up and head this way to do what my father-in-law seems to do best help folks in need. He'll be coming to patch our roof and fix our fence and blah, blah, blah.
In all honesty I feel horrible right now. I have been hearing in my mind all that song by Acapella, "That Could've Been Me." After everything we have seen or heard over the last few days I feel like I didn't even deserve to have a house, with electricity and plush cable internet to live in and use. I actually feel like I should be homeless too. I am thankful that I have a home, because my baby girl has place to sleep.
OH MY HEART JUST HURTS THINKING OF WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO NOT HAVE A HOUSE FOR MY FAMILY TO LIVE IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some have said, "it could've been worse = at least you're still alive." YEAH! Well whatever, the people who say that are the ones who didn't lose their homes and jobs and well lives! What about the ones who did?
See, this is what it all comes down to, This is what I have been reduced to.
I am dealing with some hard emotions right now, because I hurt for my friends
JD and Steve Martin. And so many others through MS and LA.
I feel like it should've been me.
More later...maybe....
I've been thinking a lot lately about something. Since my time in youth ministry began a long time ago I have unraveled something that is somewhat suprising.
As I have mentioned here before I grew up in the good ole' coC. It was all quite the status quo, we went to church everytime the doors were open, learned all the rules (spoken and unspoken, in context and out of context), and learned about how the church we went to was THE WAY TO HEAVEN. I always found these thoughts encouraging. I always found them neat. I never doubted my salvation nor did I ever think it could possibly be in doubt - I still don't by the way.
I have studied a lot about how to "reach young people" and how to "meet their needs" but over the years I have become saddened at what I have observed. After high school, the church and the youth group became afterthoughts. Unable to any longer hold the attention of young adults and teens alike. I have been really saddened by this. I believe that Barna reports that only about 1 in 10 of the kids who grow up in church actually stay involved or "remain faithful" (of course with that statistic I have to ask, are we speaking of them "remaining faithful" to the institution or to Jesus himself? That's another post of substance for a whole other day.)
The good news about this, if you want to call it good, is that some of them return. That is after they "settle down," but for some reason (and I'm generalizing here, so bear with me) they return hyper-legalistic. Almost as if in order to repay God for straying from the flock they want to over correct themselves, others and work to completely and totally reject all false teaching, which consequently they hated when they left "the Church." Only this false teaching isn't false it just that it's "what we were always taught" which has to make it golden and true. Now don't get me wrong some crawl out of the depths of legalism and scared living, but in my humble opinion it seems to be less than more.
The saddest part of this comes right here, the kids that grow up in the youth group tend to be the ones most affected by this. The kids that grow up learning what I learned and doing what I did seem to struggle the most. Just like I did. Is it because the church can no longer speak their language after all of the excitement of youth ministry? Or is there a deeper, underlying issue?
I think it has to do with both. I think that when we do youth ministry with our teens and kids it has a great place and can be used as an awesome tool. I think it gives many opportunities to encourage and nurture our teens and hopefully the entire family unit. I also think that there is a deeper issue here that is underlying and it deals more and delves into what I consider a heart issue.
Case in point, Meet Billy, Billy is a decent student, attends youth group outings regularly, leads prayers, devos and helps pass out the Lord's Supper on Sunday's. Billy grew up in the church so he has a good understanding of all of the rules. Everybody thinks Billy is the man, he's smart, has a great family, a great athlete and all around nice guy. Billy graduates from high school and moves out of the house to go to college a Christian college at that, the best one, True Church University. Billy get's to school and goes nuts, stops attending worship, stops being involved in church activities and mom and dad are upset. " I just can't believe it. How could Billy leave the church? He is such a good Christian. This just can't be, he must be ill." You bet he is.
Meet Michael, Michael is a bit different, does good in school. Things are OK at home, he has a good family that loves and supports him. Things are pretty good for him, he's popular and is also a good athlete. But for Michael, something is missing. He isn't sure what it is, but there is something that is just not right. Michael is invited to a youth event at church and likes it OK. Decides to keep going and before long he's hooked. Actually he participates more in activities than some of the church kids and he hasn't even accepted Jesus. Before long, Michael makes the decision, he decides to follow Jesus. Shortly after this Michael also graduates high school. He leaves home headed to Big State University. He immediately begins searching for the BSU Christian student center. He finds the student center along with a great church that he goes to with his new friends from BSU. He continues seeking God and is open to what God might lead him to do with his life.
So, what's the difference? These obviously are hypotheticals, but I have seen this play out year after year after year. Alot of the folks I know in other ministries have also expreienced it. So why? Why does this take place? What is the answer? I mean why is it that the kids who "grow up in the church" leave as quickly after high school as possible, and those who find Jesus at a later stage in their lives seem to stay more focused on running the race? I am still seeking to find the answer to these questions. I have a few clues but I haven't made an absolute conclusion nor do I think I will ever be able to.
Does this have something to do with complacency or apathy?
Does this have something to with the family unit?
Does this have to do with our churches not being effective?
I think all of these questions raise new questions, some lead to answers that give very real indications of an even larger issue.
Satan does everything he possibly can to try and derail us. He makes lots of things seem really important to us. He takes us off task, and tries to make us feel bad when we aren't keeping up with the Joneses and in so many ways each other. We have so much packed in to our lives we give Jesus such little opportunity to be in control of it. And his control of our lives can only come in the segments we want him to. Not all but definitely just enough for us to seem like we are really following him.
I don't have answers to these questions and that bugs me because, well quite frankly, we've always had the answers. I'm OK seeking them though. I just pray that in some way we can discover God's presence in a very real way, and allow him to be to us what we can't be for ourselves, or for each other. I pray that our families become transformed by the ever living God and we begin to help our children understand that God is everything to us and the way we live represents the way we feel about him and it causes us to live Christ centered, focused and missional lives. That is my prayer.
Not only that my daughter Hayden doesn't grow to be a pharisee but that she doesn't become a statistic on George Barna's website. Lord, help us all.
I've got the funk, and I am not talking about the funk that Parliament sings about. I am a goofy white guy who will never have that funk, although I think I would rather have it than the kind I have. Two weeks ago today I started to have a little sore throat, it was downhill from there. I went to the doctor Wednesday or Thursday and by the end of the week I was like deathly ill - O.K. not deathly ill but definitely sicker than ever and since I am a weenie, I will equate that with feeling like I was going to die. Well it just so happened that our preaching minister Bruce was out after having surgery. So, since I was filling in for Bruce I spoke in his absence that Sunday with 102 degree fever, it was an interesting feeling. By Monday my fever was broken and I was starting to recover a bit, even though I was still pretty much exhausted. Wednesday our student's and I set up five prayer stations for our church to go through. It was really nice, I think people really enjoyed them and were encouraged. I was pretty impressed with how people reacted to it. It was really neat. Our theme was, "God is Our Rock" and we did stations forcused on God's love and protection and strength. It was neat. Back to the story...
So, I think I was feeling OK by Friday and also had done a good bit in preparing my message for last Sunday. I think it went pretty well. By Sunday night though I was starting to feel bad again, and now I am on a tear where I can't stop sneezing. Can't sleep, am stopped up. It's all back like I never got well. All of this sickness has been really frustrating to me. I have never been sick this much for this long. Sickness come, sickness go - or move in and stay a while and leave when you feel like your vacation is over. (Anyway, I am going to get to the real point here.)
As I mentioned briefly before, for the last two weeks I was asked to fill in for our preaching minister on the two Sundays he was out. So, I glady did that. My first week I decided to speak about John 5 and the lame man who is healed and the obvious differences that John presents about this miracle and the other miracles Jesus performs. That went really well, I felt good about the message. Actually, I really don't remember much of what I said or did, as I was ready at anytime that morning to, pass out.
This last week I spoke about spiritual blindness from John 9. I can remember some of what I said and the points I was trying to relate, pretty well. Actually, I really felt good about this message, I just felt like God was using me (for both weeks for that matter) to say some things that really needed to be said. I made some points about us being willing to admit our own blindness and how God is ready to use us if we will allow him to remove our blindness and ask for his healing.
It was well recieved I think, I believe the message was pretty well communicated. At the end of the service someone came up to me and made a comment about how clapping in our worship service doesn't allow their family to attend our church. I acknowledged the comment, said I was sorry. Moved on and thought, "Did you just hear a word I said, anything, even a little bit of it?" Apparently not. I went on about my morning and Susan and Hayden and I did what typical coc'ers do best. That is beat our baptist brothers to lunch at Luby's. OK not Luby's but Cracker Barrel. I got home after a savory meal of chicken -n- dumplins and then my cell phone rang. It just so happens that so and so is upset about ___________ (you fill-in the blank here) and their calling so and so and so and so to gossip, I mean express their dissapointment.
People are important to God, I know that, He loves everyone! For that I am thankful. There are many days when I don't have the energy or willpower to deal with some of the things that are so "important" like what kind of songs we should sing, how long should the sermon be, can we put this or that up in the auditorium? I pray that God will help heal us all of our blindness, Satan is doing the best job ever of keeping us off task. God please forgive us.
I once was blind, now I see....please just let me see with Kingdom vision and great spiritual eyes. I don't want to be blind anymore.
