So, I really don't have a whole lot of extra time lately. That's just how it is. I am not sure what I can do right now to change that, well I can think of one, but, I like eating....
Knowing these facts that I have much to do, and knowing that I need to be responsible for my own spiritual feeding, cause in my job it's not like I am offered lots of opportunities...that's another post, I'm sure.
I have been trying to take more time to feed myself lately. I just have to. So, I am a bit wierd in regard to what I eat, so I read alot of people like Merton and Nouwen, not to mention trying to bury myself in meditation on certain passages. Doing this really gives me a great a peace and just helps me, I think, to really commune with God.
But, I also like to read guys that get me pumped up like Sweet. So with that being said I have been re-reading
"AquaChurch" and here is what I am digesting right now:
"Light illuminates the darkness. If there's darkness, the blame should be attached where it belongs; not to the world that's dark but to the church that is failing to provide the light."(pg. 47)
What a profound statement. I needed that. I really needed that. There is just something about a good kick in the pants that always gets me going...
Thoughts...Concerns...Poems...?
This month has been a tough one for Susan and I not only did we have to put new tires on her car two weeks ago, but we also had to have a new roof put on our house. As I mentioned earlier certainly not the way that one wants a "month" to go.
Fortunately, it didn't hurt us as we were able to use money from our savings to do these things, but it's just the fact that you have to do these things and the fact that you actually have to spend the money that is frustrating. Anyway...enough complaining.
Last weekend we went to Nashvegas for
Zoe. What a great time we had, OK sorta, I got sick on Saturday afternoon and we missed the final session of the worship conference, and church on Sunday - sorry about that guys, not to mention Hayden did not enjoy the kids program - Can someone tell me why they would put a 22 month old child in a room with 6 month old infants? Hayden was not impressed, she had no one to engage her, it was basically like really expensive babysitting. I'm not complaining but I definitely didn't know she would be kept in a room with babies all day. I continue to digress, anyway, onward.
So Zoe, was a little more difficult than I thought. I have been decompressing from it for a few days and here are some things I think and I'll get to the point:
1- Missional - yeah, I can see that that is exactly what God has called us to be. Seeking opportunities to be like Jesus to everyone around us.
2- Relational - I have always believed this to be paramount to reaching all of God's children.
3- Incarnational - becoming the hands and feet of Jesus in any environment. I am right on board with this.
These are things I believe in, but I never seem to do a good job of being, I'll leave it at that for this post...
We return from Zoe to Mobile only to find that the roofers have completely reroofed and finished our house. How cool! When we left they hadn't even started.
So, Tuesday I was trying to leave the house when my sweet wife noticed that I had a roofing nail in my tire.
Well, off to Firestone I went, my tires are in great shape so I just needed a patch. When I got to Firestone I found two sweet ladies talking about "church" you know the conversation..."My church this, my pastor that." Sortof like when we were kids we used to say "My daddy is a firemen, well my daddy is a garbage collector.." Don't act like you never did that. We all did, and we did it with great pride and prestige. Basically announcing "My Daddy is the greatest man alive!"
Well, I walked in to such banter at Firestone, quite interesting, I just let them say whatever. One thing I refuse to do is "sell my church" especially to people who already know Jesus, what is the point? That has always seemed to me to be one great way to ask for trouble. I mean Jesus didn't do that.
So the banter continued until finally, one lady said, "Do you know what I hate?" "What?" replied the other lady.
T.V. Preachers.I am so tired of the health and wealth gospel." She said "it's so watered down and it really doesn't do any body any good." For the first time in the whole conversation my ears begin to ring with absolute agreement with a party in this conversation, and I am engaged.
I think her key word here was "body." When I say body, I mean:
- church body
- physical body
- spiritual body
- any body
It doesn't do any of these bodies any good.
It teaches that God made us to live for us today, that Jesus paying the price on the cross really only had anything to do with us being "happy." Not true. I cannot for one moment reduce the sacrifice of Jesus to my happiness. That isn't it. The health and wealth gospel is not one of watereddowness - is that a word? I can handle water, water is great, as Len Sweet says "it's liquid", I can navigate the liquid, it's where our culture is going, I want to navigate these seas into being able to love my neighbor and share myself with a world that I know God loves.
Health and Wealth is a void of nothingness, it's puts me back to where I got in trouble in the first place..... me. It forgets about the life Jesus lived and moves right to the death that he suffered. Jesus died and suffered to save me from hell, so I can be "happy." Bah!!!
I don't believe that. I believe Jesus gave me a great story of how my life might look, full of pain, frustration, and ultimately joyous because of the dissapointment and suffering I am going through...Not to live a perfectly easy, simple, painfree life. Doesn't God use the tough things of life to teach us, mold us and encourage us.
Right now I am struggling with some stuff, and it's real stuff. Stuff that "Ten Ways to deal with Dissapointment" isn't going to help. I need the real story of how Jesus handled life, of how He worked within a time and place that was unjust. I need to know what Jesus would really say about a family who just lost their son to an auto accident and had to bury him unexpectedly. I just don't think "Don't let your doubts defeat you" will help me with that.
It isn't real, it isn't true. I don't need a twelve step recovery program. I need Jesus healing power, loving grace, and willing forgiveness and understanding.
After a short time with these ladies and me laying out as I like to call it, my .02, they figured out; "Oh you're a pastor aren't you?" I'm not sure if this is good or bad. I said "no," that I was just a follower of Jesus no different than them. They figured it out though. As the man called my name to pick up my car, one lady looked at me and said. "Thanks for sharing yourself with us today Pastor." I said, "I haven't told you I'm a minister how did you guess?" She said, "Sometimes you can just tell, and I appreciate you being caring and honest, and not forcing yourself on us. That's what Jesus would have done."
I walked out realizing that to someone for just a few moments, I did what I believed and not one time did I give answers about so many ways to (you fill in the blank). Yeah, I lived out the gospel to someone - and there was no health and no wealth for me or anyone - just truth - trying to be like Jesus.
