No doubt for the last two weeks I have been slacking and I haven't blogged. I am kind of frustrated with myself for not blogging because it is quite soothing to me when I can do so. The last two weeks though I can say have been very difficult. I feel as if I use my blog too often to complain and let out my frustrations. Some of those who read and don't comment have let me know that they are concerned about me lately due to my words here. There is no doubt reason to be concerened, please keep me in your prayers, as I am feeling the load of my responsibility and the push from Satan right now. I seemed to have found myself in the refiner's fire, that I know.
I happened to have the chance to read "It's Not About me" by
Max Lucado It was quite an appropriate read for me because it helped me to re-realize that God getting the glory is what this life should be and ultimately is about. I say that because I am learning a lot right now.
Last week, I think might have been the worst week for me in a long time, but it seemed to be a week that was just compounded by one thing after the next. I am moving forward right now and making a lot of changes in my ministry, there will be what I call a major overhaul and many new things done. I think one of the most difficult things for me to deal with is the fact that I know I am not being supported right now by a person in our church who I have been through the fire with, the one I have gone to bat for, wailed in prayer for and begged God to encourage and strengthen. If that is how it is in ministry then I don't like it. See, I thought we were all in this together. I thought we were all working toward a common goal. One where we encourgaed each other, and lifted each other up. I pray for this person because they have it all mixed up, including their personal issues. I just pray God will open their eyes.
Father God, it is you who made the mountains and the seas, so even this is no problem for you. Thank you for building on shaky ground in me, for taking me and molding me. Please be with all of those who are attacked by Satan and his workers right now, you and only you can protect us! Please be with Brandon Scott as he foaces his struggles trials and frustrations, Lord, we know what this is about....it's your glory.
Psalm 79:9
Help us, O God our Savior,
for the glory of your name.
No actually that was the title of some article I saw when I signed in today. It struck a chord with me because I have been so busy I haven't had time to blog. Actually, just this past weekend my wife and baby were gone to visit with some of Susan's friends, my only responsibility while they were gone was to relax and rest, and I managed to do that, none at all. I did manage to work in the yard, clean the house, and the list goes on... I guess I had this feeling while Susan was gone that I should be doing something, I think it is because Susan does so much for me all the time.
So back in catch up mode. There is so much I want to say about my trip to Honduras. One thing sticks out right now though. God took over 110 teens to a city in Central America and through them he turned the world upside down. It makes me think of Acts 17 when Paul and Silas went into Thessalonica and they "caused trouble" for Satan, it just totally reminds me of what our kids did in Tegucigalpa, they caused major trouble for Satan because so many were touched and so many needs were met, isn't that what "doing church" is all about, meeting peoples needs and bring them to Christ? It is to me. Amazingly, I know that I have missed the point way too often.
Right now we are focusing on a new building project at Port City we are meeting with an architect and trying to figure out how much it is going to cost us and where we can go from here. As usual my big focus is, "I need a huge new youth facility." I keep finding myself amidst the campaign trying to get us to step out as largely as we can, a sentiment I know is echoed by all of our staff. I keep asking myself the same question though.... Is it just about big buildings and beautiful furnishings? I guess the answer is yes but no. I don't know, I have this catch 22 in my mind, and then I pair that with the fact that Mobile might be THE strangest place I have ever lived, in regard to people.
We also continue to struggle over what our worship should be. Or I guess what kind of songs we shoud sing and what types of worship we should have. I know this isn't all about me, I don't want it to be, but I again think the point has been missed. I want us to have heartfelt worship that has it's focused placed soley on the Creator. Can it happen though, since worship is intended for God's delight and our edification, can we truly reach balance with the people, where all things are relative? UUGGHH!
Father, I graciously thank you for your amazing love and understanding. For creating me, and giving me life, that I may live it in your service. Thank you for my family at home and in your kingdom! Please help us to discern your will, and combine it with our focus! Thank you so much for men like Kyle Marusich, what an encourager, what an example! May you be first in all things as we try and bless your Holy name!! Amen
Well it has been a couple of weeks since I have posted because things have been so crazy. You know being in Honduras and stuff. There is really so much I could say about Honduras, I may come back in post some of my written thoughts from the trip, just to share. I am glad to be home, but my love for the people there was reaffirmed for sure...More on this later. I got home late Monday and my sweet wife who loves me so much was so excited to see me, it was awesome to see my daughter as well, although seeing Daddy with a gotee for the first time was probably a bit strange for her. Hayden did so much while I was gone (of course); began crawling, pulling herself up, saying Daddy. That was very hard for me to deal with.
Today Susan and Hayden left to go to Charlotte for a few days. It is the old sorority sister get together, that is so cool. Susan definitely deserves the time she is such a great mom, and her friends are so awesome!
Frustration is building in the old Youth Ministry department, what is it with kids who don't appreciate anything and parents who don't care? Honduras was so uplifting only to return to many issues. I am really frustrated and I can say openly that the next few weeks probably will decide what my next move is. I am so tired, I just need a good break, then you throw in worship ministry chaos, how do you say, the cup runneth over?
Well too much to do ti sit and whine.
Father God,
Thank you for blessings of love, family, and understanding. Please give me the strength to persevere and mobe through difficult times. I am tired and weary may I pass you all of my burdens. Amen.
