Recently, someone who read my blog asked me if I was really unhappy? I guess at times I didn't realize that I seemed unhappy by what I was writing. For all of you who read my blog, do I seem unhappy? Either way, that isn't the case. I am perfectly happy, I promise. I have just really felt a huge need to be honest. With that being said though, I certainly will be mindful of what I say and try and cast things in the most positive light when I can. However, sometimes a positive light isn't the one that's shining and honesty is honesty, I guess that is why they say the truth hurts.
So I actually was posting today (not because JD is nudging me but) because I wanted to bring up a thought.
In I Thessolonians 5:17 Paul says that we should pray without ceasing, actually The Living Bible prarphrases it as "Always keep on praying." I have struggled with this passage since I was a little guy, because I couldn't understand how you could actually pray all the time without ever stopping. I mean how would you do that while, eating and sleeping - two of my larger issues? I struggled with that up until about six months ago.
I have had a lot of things going on in my life in the last year, many decisions to make, many frustrations to deal with, balancing life as I know it. I started noticing about six months ago that I was praying at the most random times:
- Praying in the shower
- In the car
- Cleaning the house
- working in the yard
- setting up chairs at church
- going to visit someone
- Playing with my daughter
I just find myself talking to God....or am I? I am wondering am I saying these things to God or am I just worrying about them out loud in my mind (I hope that makes sense)? I think it is so easy to be focused on what is going on in your life that you are prayerful and to me this is, bringing my requests before God constantly. Could this have anything to do with the Spirit working in me, prompting me due to growth in my own life or does it have more to do with me being worried and therefore just laying my heart out for selfish reasons, perhaps in anxiety?
Maybe the reason I ask is because I doubt myself, but I am not sure why I do. There really is no reason to. I was having a discussion with a friend about the fact that sometimes with regard to our pasts, and when I say pasts I mean what we grew up knowing as absolute, it is hard to accept God's grace in all aspects of your life not just the obvious ones...either way here I go not making any sense.
Does anybody else go through this? Or am I just a weirdo. Ok don't answer that - only answer if you go through this.
k2 said...
k2 said...
dude,
i remember studying this subject in the recent past, and i liked how the proctor (fancy word for teacher) mentioned that if we pray before we do anything that required a decision (not where to eat or anything like that) we should pray and ask God to bless our decision and i have done that, sadly only a few times, and it has helped me in my decision making.
what God wants is a relationship with us, and if that realtionship is talking with Him during whatever you are doing around the house, dude, then that is great in my eyes. at least you are talking with Him. you may think you are just talking to your self, but if you preface it with His name, or end the question with His name, you should feel that what you are doing is what paul was talking about.
i was starting to wonder about you a little with all that you have been dealing with, but i haven't seen you give away your stuff, or write letters to anybody, so i don't think you need a suicide watch. however, let me offer again, if you need to talk about anything my "e-door" is aways open and you know the combo.
JD said...
Cheer up, Chris! (lol)
I think that having a prayer in our hearts at random times is an excellent sign that we are yeilding to the Spirit of God. I do not think this can replace specific and purposeful times alone with God (which is a challenge for me - I do not speak as one who has this down!).
On accepting God's grace ... grace is undeserved Therefore we find it hard to believe that it is true. THe Enemy has convinced us that the principles of the world are true: you only get what you deserve, if you want something bad enough work for it, believe in yourself ... they sound so innocent ... but they work against grace. Trust is the unspoken issue for many of us.
Niki said...
I personally like the honesty. You aren't doing yourself or anyone else a favor by only posting positive thoughts and feelings. If you did that the rest of us would wonder what our problem was not being sunny all the time.
When I read this verse in high school, I laughed and thought this must be the times I pray before bed and drift off before Amen can leave my lips :). I think because we're in a relationship WITH God, our talks with him happen randomly as well as when they're scheduled. Don't your other relationships work like that? I don't always plan when and what I'm going to say to my husband, I just talk to him about whatever is on my heart at the moment and listen to what he has to say about it. Sometimes what I say is worrying out loud, sometimes it's more profound. Either way, I know he still hears me and cares what's on my heart and mind. God does even more so!
Sometimes we need to schedule time alone with our spouse to grow the relationship and just communicate how much we love them. The same is true with God. I also think God speaks to us during our everyday moments...He doesn't always wait until we're in church or Bible Study, or our planned devo time. I think that sometimes he's so excited that we're ready to grasp a truth, or annoyed that we're messing up again, he communicates with us through the Holy Spirit immediately. I do not begin to understand the mystery of God, but I know that he is the lover of your soul, and he wants to be in constant communication with you.
Step into grace my brother! It's not easy for us lifers (of the coc) but when we step away from guilt, which I have to keep on doing, God's grace is a glorious thing and the communicating gets much easier!
