I know I heard a song once with that title. I know it has to do with being in a club of sorts, you know like a place you hang out, maybe you dance a bit, whatever floats your boat I guess...I remember thinking about this phrase, "In Da Club" a few months ago.
There are times when I have been at my church and this thought has popped in to my mind...
Mobile, AL is an interesting city.
There is a certain part of it, like many very southern cities, that refuses to change, actually I like the phrase, grow up.
It's funny to me really. I don't quite get it. For us, in Mobile, that area is referred to as where the 08'ers live. The phrase refers to the zip code; that people in that area are typically (I know I'm generalizing and maybe even sound judgmental, but I'm going somewhere) snobbish, very self conscious, and usually somewhat rude, if you aren't from their side of town. Now, when I use the term from, I mean like, born in their zip code - seriously.
My wife Susan went with us two weeks ago to
YIA in Birmingham. This is a big deal because Susan doesn't usually do that well with youth trips, she misses our child too much and it's just hard on her. So for a reward, I promised to buy her a
Vera Bradley bag. Susan is not totally consumed with herself, thus needing such bag as compensation, but I wanted to do it because she is a good, loving wife and she makes many sacrifices for our family. Thus, last week, the two of us decided to venture out to buy such a bag. So, of course, this search leads us to my favorite part of town, the 0 to the 8. We find ourselves in this fru-fru little frilly shop, which will remain nameless to protect the guilty. At which the moment we walked in and a woman approaches us, with a look as if I am bleeding profusely from my head, and Susan has on no top, and says, "Uh, Hi, uh... can we help you?"
At this moment, I felt dirty. I am not sure why, but I did. Maybe it was because all of the people in the store turned to stare at us. Maybe it was because for that brief moment I was reminded of my own sins. Or should I say for that moment I realized that I have been the store clerk and our church has been the store customers.
My wife and I did go ahead and walk around, for some reason I felt the need to let them know that I was good enough to be in the store as if somehow I would let them know that everyone and anyone was. My wife and I finally walked out, we had this eye contact thing that said, "We ain't buying nothing here."
I realized that day, that that was the worst I had ever felt, and I never wanted to go back to that feeling again. God knew I needed that, I wish there was someway that others could have the feeling that I had that day. Not to make them feel bad, but just so that they could understand the feeling of others when they come into a place and don't feel accepted.
We spend a lot of time talking about accepting others, we teach about it, we say it's important, but I don't think any other lesson could have been as powerful for me as that one was.
I realized how so many people must feel upon entering the church for the first time, how hard it really must be. The fear of not knowing what people would say or how they might act. Isn't this sad that people would worry about how people in a church might act towards them?
Does it say something about the lives that we've made for ourselves outside of a building or Sunday service?
What if we began to treat each other as if we really valued them? In Don Miller's book "Blue Like Jazz" he talks about being reminded that Love isn't a commodity to be sold and traded on the open market. What if we began to live this everyday? In other words, people didn't have to be this or that for us to like or love them.
I struggle with this, Jesus command to us in John 15. "Love each other as I have loved you." I get so frustrated with other people and I don't let them in to my "club." And I'm still miserable. Jesus precedes it with this, "I tell you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."
What if I lived this everyday of my life, what would be different? What if our churches lived it?
I guess like Jesus says, I might actually be "complete."
Donna G said...
Great thoughts! I wonder what is the best way to make someone feel comfortable? How do you make them feel at home when you are not sure you do?
But, you are so right, we have to be ready and WILLING to love people!
k2 said...
you know what? this makes me think of what was suggested for the church i attend. the suggestion was to meet visitors at their car, and after introductions were made, we were to ask if there was anything that we could pray about for them.
you know what? this all sounds well and good, but having been a visitor, more than once, all i was looking for was acceptance, and not overboard smothering of "forced affection." i don't even think that is a word, but it is a way of thinking about that. does that make sense? i hope so.
my view (like you really care) is that we need to treat them like they are our friend. be kind to them. just talk to them. its hard to describe, but we all know when people are being genuine, unlike the way the people in the '08 part of town would've treated you and susan if you would've been dressed for the part. now see how i am acting. now i'm stereotyping.
i try to accept all the people that i meet, and i want to sound as genuine and interested in them as J.C. would be with me. make sense?
thanks for bringing this up chris. great post.
JD said...
Good thoughts everyone. Meet them at their car? Good heavens! I drove in a car lot one time and three salesman stepped off the porch and walked toward me. I drove through and kept on driving away. Let's get real with what makes people really know that we love them: service. And that doesn't happen at church. The ones who feel comfortable coming to church already know you love them because you served them somewhere else.
